Eat dryer sheets.
Chew on the corner of mom’s blanket when I wake up at night.
Grab my leash and walk myself.
After my last potty break of the night I save just a little, you know to keep mom on her toes.
Squeak my ball really loud in the morning and wake up Allison.
Bite bare toes when they get out of the shower.
Run away when mom wants me to go in the kennel.
Pull on the draw string of my mom’s hooded sweatshirt so it closes tight and she can’t see.
Turn toilet paper rolls info really long pieces of thin paper.
Walk in a zig-zag pattern when out, to trip my people.
Chew on shoes. Both on and off of feet.
Sneak into Allison’s room and steal dirty socks and anything tastey looking from the garbage can.
Knock on Allison’s door so I can go see Errol.
Steal pop cans out of the recycling.
Bark at anything that isn’t in the exact spot that I left it in.
Tip my food bowl over and eat off the floor
Steal my toys out of the kennel and smuggle them upstairs.
Roll around in the dirty laundry.
Bite at my mom’s pants leaving little tiny holes in everything she owns.
Eat Tupperware.
Mom says I am not supposed to do these things but I have a phrase I like to live by. It goes like this, “What you gunna do about it, Huh”?